Da di Di

I enjoy the time when I put my kids to bed. It is an intimate moment that we share with them...
DH would read to Rachel while I nurse Ariel till he is so so satisfied that he is ready for bed.

Last night, Ariel was saying Da Di Di.. after i nursed him.. with his eyes closed.. as if he is calling out to his daddy who is faraway.. in the Holy Land...

And he doesnt stop there.. he went on to murmur "ba Ba bababa...."..

He went on and on for a good 3 minutes until he eventually dozed off...
Rachel was already fast asleep by the time Ariel switched to "Babababa.."

DH would be thrilled to hear this when he returns from his business trip.

My Girl Turns Three

i fell in love with the month of November after i met DH. And it turned out subsequently that many happy occasions in our lives are centred around the month of november..
one of them is the birth of my precious daughter, Rachel.
She was born on the twenty eighth day of my favourite month, a day after her daddy's birthday.

Since the beginning of this year, she had sounded me out that she wanted an Elmo cake for her birthday... I went on in search... but somehow i just couldnt find one that catches my eye..

I settled for an Elmo agar agar and a Sesame Street Themed 2-Tier Cake.

My sister is really kind to sponsor the balloons for the party.
We had an Elmo skywalker and a big Three from Party City.

DH and I had wanted a small celebration for Rachel so we carefully planned the guest lists and food. In the end, we narrowed down to about 20 guests and our immediate family members.
The party was held at La Casa Clubhouse and we had a good time catching up with our dearest friends...

We didnt cater any food this time round as we were both so "sick" of buffet styled food.. that we decided to DIY.. our mothers were very kind to help us out as they know that we probably wont have the time to cook anything in the morning before the party starts.

The highlight of the party is probably the cake!
It was a 3-kg lychee martini and chocolate mousse cake from Pine Gardens.
I would highly recommend cakes from them as they not only taste great but also very value for money. I paid only $150 for a 3-kg adorned with beautiful design and delivery to my party venue.

The agar agar was good too. It's from Mrs Chan's Jelly. I got this contact from my sister's friend and later found out that she has already earned a respect in the SMH forum.

All in all, I believe Rachel had an amazing time and it is so heartwarming to see her enjoy her day.



To my darling Rachel,

I pray that you will always be curious about the world you live in, always seeking knowledge, asking questions. May you be blessed with God's wisdom and favor all the days of your life. May you shine like a star. May you always be above and not beneath for you are your Heavenly Father's beloved child. I thank God for you, my precious one.

Love always,
Mummy

the fragility of the human race

have u ever wondered how life may be if your life companion has suddenly "fell asleep" (i.e. died)?

i had a recent scare from DH and that set me thinking...

DH signed up the Mizuno Run recently and decided to put in some practice run before the actual race. As we are both physically stretched from taking care of our young children, finding time to do our own things requires a respected level of determination and commitment. DH has that in him. He will go for his practice runs in the nights, after putting both kids to bed and helping me with some of the household chores.

Last saturday, he decided to go for a run and i was too sleepy that evening that i fell asleep together with the kids so i didnt know the time he left for his run. I woke up about 1240am and found out that DH was not home. Went for a pee and then realised that something seemed amiss.
Why is he still not back yet?
What time did he leave home? (i thought i fell asleep around 11am.. and he told me he was going for a run.. probably not too far..)

I started to panic.
I reached for the phone and dialled his number.
No answer. He didnt leave the phone at home either.
I dialled a few times and there was no pickup.

My heart beat even faster.
I was preparing for something bad that might happen to him.

Did he collapse halfway while running? (read too much reports about such sudden death incidents)

What should I do?
The kids were sound asleep.

I felt sick in my stomach. I believe that my fears has triggered the physical reaction in my body.
I had to take a shit. OH my GOD!
What should I do?
I prayed for his safety.

I thought of the various plans and I decided on one.
I will knock on Michael's door and seek his help to babysit while I go out and look for DH.
He cant be too far off..

As I started to get changed, I heard the most relieving sound.. the turn on the door knob..
DH was at the door!

I stood there in complete silence, I was speechless. I guess I must be so relieved to have him back that I was lost for words.

He was also quite surprised to see me awake and reacting in this way.
He left the phone in the car and went for his jog around midnight and decided on a 10km run..

I told him about my scare and told him that he should never leave home for a run without a phone and a note the next time.

I began to realise that life is so fragile and we must treasure the very present moments.

I treasure you, my dearest...
We should make time to do the things that mattered to us..

Life is a gift from above, let's walk a purposely path in glorifying Him!

Three Little Pigs

With much nudging, Rachel finally agreed to go into the classroom. This is her 4th Speech & Drama lesson at LoveKids. I observed her from the shaded round window outside her class. She remains a silent observer, not participating even when asked but I can tell that she's enjoying herself. :)

Today's story is about Three Little Pigs, Rachel's favourite bedtime story...

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf
The Big Bad Wolf, The Big Bad Wolf
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf
Oink Oink Oink Oink Oink!

I believe that Rachel will warm up slowly (at her own time) and start interacting and participating with the rest of her classmates.

CGH = Christ Gives Hope

My father was admitted to Changi General Hospital two days ago. He experienced severe chest pain in his sleep and was awoken by the sharp pain. He was sent to CGH in an ambulance and was under observation since. What he experienced is known as Angina Pectoris (Chest Pain).

He had to undergo three ECG tests including one to be done on a treadmill. When the results came out, he was informed that he can be discharged. As he was happily preparing for his discharge, a senior doctor stopped him and told him that his ECG test on the treadmill looked somewhat abnormal. (This senior doctor is the same one he saw when he was admitted at A&E Dept.) The doctor suggested that he undergoes a coronary angiogram. This is a test that uses an injection of liquid dye to make the coronary arteries easily visible under X-ray. The results from the angiogram will determine if any of his coronary arteries is blocked. If it is blocked, he can undergo a procedure called angioplasty. It is an operation where the narrowed coronary artery is dilated (opened up) with a balloon. A small tube called a stent may also be inserted into the artery at this time to help prevent it narrowing down again in the future.

I am still awaiting results of his angiogram.

In the midst of this incident, I keep praying for my father. I pray for his speedy recovery and he will be able to go home soon. I pray that everything will be alright and there is no need to perform any heart bypass operation. I pray that he will find peace and calm in the midst of this condition. I pray for Psalm 91 upon him. I believe my Heavenly Father hears my prayer. Many people see CGH as a hospital where patients are not properly diagnosed and doctors not having adequate expertise... I see CGH as Christ Gives Hope and if Christ is in charge, my father will be on the road of speedy recovery. :)

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust."
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look, and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands, they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation."

I cant believe this!!
The moment I published this blog, I received an sms from my father.
It said. "Good news - no blockage in the heart. Can go back home about 2 pm."

Hallelujah!!
Praise the Lord!

Heavy Hearted...

Sigh, I lost my cool again!
Was feeding Rachel dinner last evening and ended up blasting at her. Mealtimes (esp dinners) with her is becoming more and more like a competition of tug-of-war.

First, it was about her being choosy with her likes and dislikes of food. Then, it became a coaxing game trying to get her to finish all the food placed in her bowl. Now, it has become a waiting game where she will walk around as she pleases when she eats her dinner and , I am getting really tired of waiting for her and it's such a waste of my time. She tested my patience to the limit!

I got so mad with her last evening when she refused to listen to me and walked about as she pleased. I told her to finish her food before she played with her toys. She simply ignored my words and walked away. That made my blood boil. I cannot tolerate this behaviour any longer. I shouted very sternly and loudly at her to FINISH HER FOOD!!! She still thought that I was joking. I went over and grabbed her by her arms and made her stand in front of me. I blasted at her one more time, " I AM VERY ANGRY WITH YOU!! STAND STILL & FINISH YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!"

She was shocked and for a moment, I saw that she was afraid and wanted to cry. But being the headstrong and stubborn her, she held back her tears as if a response of rebellion. In the end, the mummy "won" and she finished all the food.

I was so upset over this incident that I could not talk to her after that. I am really at a loss. I told myself not to raise my voice at her or lose my cool at her but I have not managed my temperament very well. Sigh... I am not sure how to discipline her.

It was with a heavy heart that I wrote this post. This is certainly not what I envision good parenting should be. It is my constant prayer that the Lord will give me the wisdom and patience to train up my child. The only consolation is that Rachel will probably not remember this incident when she grows up.

Frog Prince

I brought Rachel to her weekly Speech & Drama class at LoveKids. This was her 3rd lesson.
I was as curious as she was on what today's theme will be and it turned out to be Frog Prince.

As usual, Rachel insisted that I go into the classroom with her and I thought that I will just sit in for a while. If she's comfortable in there, I will leave the class. Jack's mummy (Christina) accompanied Jack in the class too.

Rachel was more at ease today. I guess it's because I reassured her that I'll be around. She actually wanted to dress up as a character in the drama - The Queen. So I put on her crown and gown. :)

Halfway through the class, Grace slipped on the lilypad and fell. (She was running about freely in class.) She hurt her right cheek and started crying for her mummy. Teacher Loretta then brought her out to wash up and look for her dad at the same time. Not too long later, Grace came back into the class with all smiles again. I thought she was a very brave girl.

Mrs Nonis carried on the story and all the children participated in the drama. Jack was the King, Rachel, the Queen, Grace and Marion were the Princesses and Matthew was the Frog Prince. Mrs Nonis wanted some pictures taken of the class so Christina and I were ducking away so that we wont be in the photos as this was supposed to be a class for the kids. :)

I can see that Rachel is getting more comfortable with the class and Mrs Nonis said that she will be ready to join in the class all by herself next week. I hope that this weekly enrichment class will prepare her for nursery classes next year.

Oh Where, Oh Where
Has My Princess Gone?
Oh Where, Oh Where
Can She Be?

With Love From Her
Will Break The Spell
Oh Where, Oh Where
Can She Be?

Ma Ma

To my pleasant surprise, Ariel called out "Ma Ma" as he saw me walking past him as I stepped out from the shower and on my way to drop the clothes in the laundry bag yesterday. I was elated. :)
I think this is purely coincidental as he is still too young to be able to call me but I still relish that moment of joy when he blurted out what he did.

I recalled Rachel murmured "da da" first when she was about 6 months old.

I am thankful to God that He gave me two healthy and happy children.

Ariel Boy

My Ariel Boy is 6 months old today. :)

He has grown so much in the first six months of his life. Weighing in only at 2.835kg at birth, he is now a hefty 8.4kg!! Thanks to the most wonderful milk supply that God has created! The best milk ever... Surviving totally on breastmilk, I must say that he is doing very well. (His weight falls in the 75th percentile among the other six-month-old babies in Singapore.) *big grin*

Ariel means Lion of God in hebrew. Ling and I like this name alot and we decided to name our boy Ariel despite the feminine intonation of the name and the popular Little Mermaid naming after it. We also want to continue the consistency of our children's names ending with "-el ". "El" means God in hebrew. Somehow we have very fond memories of our time spent in the Holy Land and would like our children to carry that special memory and meaning in their names.

Ariel is a happy and smiley baby. He is contented as long as he is well fed and gets enough sleep. I thought he was a much easier baby to manage as compared to Rachel when she was a baby. Rachel cries more than Ariel. She needed alot of comfort and spent most of the time at my breast. But then again, it could also be due to a lack of experience as we were first time parents then. So every cry from our previous little babe triggered a lot more anxiety in us. We believe in attachment parenting so we are naturally more concerned over our babies' cries.

Ariel likes to smile. Whenever I call him Ariel Boy, he will smile readily back at me. I like his smiles alot. He also enjoys being carried around the house. I like to carry and dance with him like in a waltz. I did that with Rachel too when we were in HaMesada. Ariel has also started to show interest in food. He moves his mouth as if he would like to eat when he sees us having our meals, and especially so when Rachel is having her breakfast. I will start him on semi solids once he is able to sit upright on his own. (I cant wait to feed him his first food.)

Seeing my darling boy growing up healthily and happily gives me great joy and content. It reaffirms the stand that I make to be a stay-at-home-mum. I think that's the best thing that I can give to my children and to myself. This would not have been possible without a whole of bunch of supporters behind me.

The past 6 months is a challenging yet a very fulfilling ride. Tending to a newborn with a two-year-old toddler running around craving for my attention is a BIG deal! I couldnt have remain sane if not for the relentless support from my ling, my in-laws and especially my mum. I really cant thank them enough.

My mum quit her job to help me out with my confinement. After the confinement, she comes over to my place every mondays, wednesdays and fridays. She was called upon to stay over on the days that ling is overseas. She is always there for me. She does the cooking, the cleaning, the carrying, the teaching (teach rachel mandarin) and much more... I really thank God for an amazing mother like her.

My in-laws have been a great help too. They came whenever we call for help! They let us use the car. They take care of Rachel on tuesdays and thursdays. They shelve their plans for us. They are ever ready to lend us a helping hand.

My dearest half is my rock. He gives me emotional strength. He listens to me, my grumblings, complaints, grouses... He puts things in perspective for me, he addresses issues, he brings out a better me. AND HE WANTS MORE KIDS!!!

:)

The Ugly Duckling

Rachel attended her second lesson at LoveKids today. Before we left for the class, we made a little pact and sealed it with our little fingers. The pact is for Rachel to attend the class by herself and I will wait for her outside the classroom.

When we reached LoveKids, Rachel started to become a little anxious and wanted me to carry her up the stairs even though she could walk on her own very well and climbing steps is one of the favourite things that she does at Grandma's house.

She held onto me really tightly and totally forgot about the little pact that we made. She insisted that I joined her for the session. After getting the approval from Mrs Nonis, I went in with her. Jack's mummy was also in the class and later I found out that it was also Jack's first exposure to a playgroup.

Today's story is about The Ugly Duckling. I remembered catching the Walt Disney's animated cartoon on this when I was a child and I was so moved by the show that I started to cry when I saw how sad the ugly duckling was when she was ostracised by the other ducklings and her "mommy duck".

Somehow I didnt pay alot of attention to Mrs Nonis this time round as I was too focused on getting Rachel to participate and get involved with the class. She needs alot of encouragement and takes a long time to warm up. She stayed close to me the whole time.

At one point, Mrs Nonis asked me if she could talk about what she learned the last lesson because when Mrs Nonis posed some questions to Rachel, she just stared blankly at her. My girl is definitely not the spontaneous type. (Both ling and I arent the spontaneous type either... ) She's the exact opposite to the other girl called Grace who kept wandering about the classroom looking for the star stamp. Mrs Nonis had to keep it away from her and dangled the star stamp like a carrot to get Grace to cooperate. But she soon went off doing her own things again. Kids are so innocent; it really takes alot of patience to get them to be engaged and doing the things we want them to.

I see myself in my little girl as I watched her throughout the class. She needs a great sense of security, a lot of encouragement and love. She slowly warmed up as the class was about to end. :)

An ugly duckling,
Not like the rest.
Was teased alot
He felt like a pest.

He went off with a waddle and a
Quack! Quack! Quack!

A Milking Cow

Sometime in the first week of june, an ex-colleague called me up and sounded me out on a part time job with my ex-company. I only need to go into the office on an average of 8 to 10 days in a month to handle the payroll for the company. From the payroll payout dates, that means I will need to report to the office in the first and third week of the month. The monetary offer was also rather attractive. I discussed this with ling and he encouraged me to take this up. I thought it was a good opportunity for me to transition from a SAHM to a part time SAHM. :P
I have great plans for my floral passion when Ariel turns 2 so I think this part time job offer comes in really handy. Within a week, I accepted the job offer. I thank God for this opportunity and I think He must have heard my prayers.

The next step is for me to start storing up on my breastmilk supplies for Ariel. My mum will help me take care of him on the days that I need to work and that means I will miss out on the direct latching moments. However, ensuring that he gets breastmilk remains my top priority. I was even prepared to feed him during my lunch breaks if he doesnt get enough from the stored supplies.

Expressing milk is not my cup of tea as I always preferred the convenience of my children latching on to me than feeding them from the bottle. But going to work leaves me with no choice but to start expressing milk all over again. I finally put my medela PIS back to good use. The last time I used it intensively was when Rachel was 2 wks old. I practically stuck to a regimental routine of expressing milk on a 2 hourly basis (even in the nights) in the hope of boosting my milk supply. But I ended up feeling so demoralised and it kick-started a whole host of breastfeeding woes. Well, this will be recorded in another post.

I was concerned of Ariel not having enough to drink so I decided that I should express after I feed him in the morning. Yesterday was my first yield. And I managed a total of 4 oz after two pumps. I know the supply will increase as I believe that our human body is really smart to know that now it needs to produce more, once for the baby and once for the pump.

So there goes the milking cow mooing herself happily after each pump.... :P

Rachel@LoveKids

I signed Rachel up for a 10wk Speech & Drama class at LoveKids.
LoveKids website caught my eye when I was browsing the internet for a suitable kindergarten for Rachel. (she will be turning 4 next year so I thought it'll be good to expose her to a nursery class)

It's located at Serangoon Gardens, a neighbourhood that I have grown to love. I used to take SBS Bus #73 when I was growing up as a kid, traveling to and fro Lorong Buangkok & Toa Payoh. The bus will make a stop at SG chomp chomp before it headed out to Lorong Chuan. And I will always look at the rows of terrace houses, semi-Ds and bungalows in that neighbourhood... admiring at some really gorgeous ones and getting puzzled over some that looked as if a forest is growing out of its garden. :)

I left my contact details via LoveKids' website and received a call from Margaret Nonis, the centre director the following day. The first impression over the phone was good and we arranged to meet at the centre on the saturday before the class commences the following tuesday.

We met on 27 Jun 09. I explained to Mrs Nonis that this will be Rachel's first exposure to a playgroup. She tends to take a long while to warm up to strange faces let alone being in front of a group of them. Mrs Nonis assured me that Rachel will have fun. LoveKids believe that children learn best when they are Happy and Relaxed! This notion sits in well with what I thought too. Rachel seemed to like the props and costumes at the centre and she starts to explore the classroom curiously. On our way home, she told me that she wants to go back to the centre again.

30 Jun 09 5pm - Ling (he took half day off specially for this) and I brought Rachel to her first enrichment class. I attended the lesson with Rachel as she gripped my hand so tightly that I couldnt bear to leave her alone in the class. Anyway, the other caregivers were also in the class so I stayed on. There are altogether 6 children in this class including Rachel. There was Grace (the super active girl who likes to wander off in search of new toys in the classroom; she came in with her dad), Matthew (the very well behaved boy who attends the class all by himself; whom I learned later that he was a nephew of Margaret), Marion (the spontaneous caucasion girl who is super eager to answer "Yes", "Me" to the teacher; she also attends the class by herself), Jack (another boy who is very well behaved; he sits with his mummy too), Wee Min (another girl who is attending playgroup for the very first time; she cries halfway through the class asking for her Jie Jie to join in; and she did; so the two girls sat with their Grandma) and there was Rachel who sits quietly next to me but observing intently at the teacher and the other kids. Today's theme was the Gingerbread Man.

"Run, Run
As fast as you can
You can't catch me
I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

Rachel was quiet throughout the class and not so willing to participate with the other kids. She prefers doing things on her own. When Mrs Nonis handed out a colouring assignment towards the end of the lesson, she happily grabs a colouring pencil and start to colour the Gingerbread Man's nose red. :)

The hour went by fairly quickly and it was time to go home. Rachel left the class feeling rather satisfied and started yakking all about her class when she's finally alone with Daddy & Mummy. I hope she enjoyed herself during the lesson. And I look forward to sharing more posts of her Speech & Drama class with you. Stay tuned!!

If you would like to find out more about LoveKids, here's their website.
http://www.lovekids.com.sg/lovekids/

My Unexpected Home Birth (20 January 2009)

9 January 2009

435am - I woke up. It must be something bad with the food that I've ate the night before. (i had a nonya rice dumpling before DH packed food home from my in laws' place) My tummy felt really uncomfortable and I experienced cramp-liked surges. I cant make out if I am just in for a tummy ache or if these are Braxton Hicks.

500am - Took the first shit.

505am - I made myself a cup of hot cereal drink (as i'm already hungry). I continue to feel the very irregular surges. I thought I'd better pack ready the baby clothes which I've washed and dried last night. As I was getting the clothes out from the dryer, I could not help but had to make a run to the "great white throne" again.

515am - Took another shit. This is getting interesting..

530am - Tried to wake DH up

535am - Took a 3rd shit.

545am - DH finally got up and I got him to time my surges. It was every 3mins apart with each surge lasting 1 min. We were still doubting if these are the regular surges that should get us heading for the hospital as there were absolutely no other signs. The baby was not even engaged when I went for my last gynae check on the 6th!

600am - Still doubting, I suggested to DH that we should give a call to my in laws so that they can come over and be with Rachel if we really had to go to the hospital.

Between 600am to 630am - The surges were practically unbearable. I remembered the breathing techniques that I've learned during my Hypnobirthing class and used them to cope with the intense surges. I could only speak in between surges. During this time, DH got the hospital bag ready, passed me a pillow so that I can place it anywhere just to make myself comfortable, and become more sober.
DH probably got hold of the phone around 6plus am to call my in laws. Each time the surge kicks in , I will be on my knees and lending support from the sofa.
At the point, I remembered Jesus. I prayed to Him for the strength and endurance to last me through this labor. And most of all, I prayed for His protection to ensure a safe and smooth delivery. I sang to Him in the midst of my labor pain that I will experience a supernatural pain-free birth. I felt assured that I can place my trust in Him for this birth.

Between 630am to 700am - I felt that I needed to take another shit. So I went to the toilet again. That was when I discovered that my mucus plug has dislodged. I decided to take a shower to get ready for the hospital. While washing up, the surges came. It was so intense that I had to be on my fours in order not to fall. The wet floor didnt help and I kept slipping on my knees. I quickly got DH to place a towel on the floor and to support me with all his might.

Between 700am to 735am - I was already pushing. My in laws were not here yet. I told DH that we might not make it to the hospital. I think I was screaming at this point when I felt the surge. DH was trying to make calls to Dr Lai and to my father in law to arrange for the necessary logistics and at the same time, to be my support and endure my screams.

735am to 739am - My in laws finally arrived. I let out the final scream and told my hubby the baby's head is coming out. "Catch the baby, catch the baby!" I said.

740am - Baby Ariel was born.

Everything happened so quickly that DH had no time to react. I think the baby must have slided out. DH picked the baby up from the floor and we noticed that his umbilical cord had snapped. I quickly instructed DH to get the IKEA clamps so that we can clamp his cord.

My mother in law was probably in the state of shock. It was too much for anyone to take in. She probably arrived when I let out the last scream and the next thing she knew, the baby was born. We decided to call for the ambulance. My MIL did the calling but we were told that we had to wait for 30mins before the private ambulance can arrive. In the end, DH decided that we should drive down to Mt Alvernia on our own.

Between 741am to 815am - With the placenta still inside my uterus, I wrapped Ariel up in a thick towel and made our way to the car. I had to walk really slowly as my wound was still fresh. I must have lost quite an amount of blood in the process. Before we left, I saw that my shower area was quite a bloody mess. DH drove like a "mad man". He cut the road shoulders and entered bus lanes, breaking the traffic rules (quite happily) liberally. That 20mins drive was one of the longest in my life. I kept a close watch over Ariel, making sure that he was breathing. He was quite pale and silent the whole time. Quietly in my heart, I prayed to the Lord to keep him alive.

815am to 820am - We arrived at Mt A. I was wheel-chaired to the delivery suite and the nurses took over. Ariel weighed in at 2.835kg, 49cm long. Not too bad for a 36wk old premie.

My placenta was delivered by the nurse as Dr Lai was still attending to a c-sect. He eventually arrived and stitched me up.

What an eventful morning!
Praise the Lord for this miraculous birth!

Emmanuel.

my little lamb (5 December 2006)

GIVE THANKS!

so much has happened in the past one week that i dun even know where to start...
it has been a roller coaster ride for both my dh and me.
i didnt know that labor can actually take so long.. and i least expectedly it to happen to me.
26nov midnite onwards - i was having frequent surges and they are about 5minutes apart. we thought that this would be IT. so we decided to take a shower, pack the hospital bag and head down to MAH. we called our doula to inform her and to meet her in the hospital.
330am - arrived at MAH. was put on 20mins CTG monitoring. a VE was done and i was told that I am only 1.5cm dilated. This piece of info could not have been worse.. bcos earlier the day (sat) i was told by my gynae that i'm already 3cm dilated. anyhow, i waited till about 8am for another VE chk as well as to wait for my gynae's arrival.
830am - My gynae arrived and i told him i wanted to be discharged. He was agreeable as he felt that my labor was still early.
930am - Checked out and we headed for breakfast. We ate the infamous Kway Chap from the sembawang food centre along thomson road.
1030am - Reached home and I decided to catch some rest in between the surges.
Whole of 26nov - surges still regular but not progressive.

27 nov - it's my dh's birthday!! We were still wondering when baby wanna come out! Could it be TODAY? would she wanna present herself as a bday present for her daddy?
230pm - i decided to call Ginny (my doula) as i feel like giving up (the long wait for natural delivery..)
4pm - she arrived at my place and she asked if i would like to head down to dr lai's clinic for a checkup. She suspected that baby's in a posterior position (as i told her that i could feel her kicks on both left and right sides of my tummy). But I think this was highly unlikely cos my scan on sat still showed that bb's in a LOA (left anterior) position.
515pm - Arrived at Camden and true enough, Ginny's guess was right. My baby has changed position at the very last minute. A VE check showed I'm 3cm dilated and gynae commented that my cervix is very "stretchy". So that means it can be anytime now!
Ginny agreed to come by after dinner and try alternative means to help switch baby into an anterior position. (baby's head can come out easier if baby's in an anterior position. Posterior positioned babies usually require assisted delivery)
830pm - Ginny arrived and we started on the various methods such as massage, acupressure, lean on all fours.. All these while I was having intense surges. I told Ginny that I'll take 2hr timeline as a gauge to see if I can still cope with the surges. If I cannot, we will then discuss next steps at that point.
10pm - I felt better after Ginny's acupressure and massage of my feet so I decided to wait.
12midnite - I think I can still cope by focusing on the deep and slow breathing techniques learnt in the Hypnobirthing Classes. I also took a warm shower. It really helped!
28nov 230am - I decided that I had enough! I am gonna admit myself and augment the labor. Cos I'm just totally exhausted.
3am - Arrived at MAH (dejavu)
330am - Dr Lai came to rupture the membranes. Waters' clear so that a good sign. No fetal distress. Shortly after, the surges became tremendously intense that i was groaning and moaning.. Another VE was done.. I'm only 5cm dilated! I held on to dh's hands in search for some comfort.
4am - I gave in to epidural. The wait for the anaesthetist seemed forever..I was in so much PAIN!!
430am - Epidural was administered. And I could immediately feel relief from the surges despite them coming on strong. I am now able to empathise with the many women who gave in to epidural during labor despite the cons of this analgesia.
8am - Another VE chk done. 6cm dilated. Gynae commented that this is too slow and he suggested to put me on synthetic oxytocin drip. I thought "what the heck" since I'm already on epidural. I agreed!
12nn - Still not much progress. I asked dh to go grab a bite before the action begins. I was still able to pose for some shots in the delivery suite.
2pm - I requested for the epidural dosage to be reduced as I wanted to be able to feel the sensation to push. Ginny came back after lunch and continued to give me support.
3pm - Felt the urge to bear down. Also felt something down under like a rocket size "bowel" that was about to be launched but kanna stuck!! A VE was done and I'm like 9cm dilated. Almost there.
330pm to 428pm - somewhere along this time zone.. I was experiencing the fullness of the intensity. I told Ginny that I wanted to be off the bed as i think gravity will add me in the delivery. The nurses were all panicky and said "no" as I was on epidural. They only relented when Dr Lai gave the go-ahead. But the transition to a birthing stool required some help as I was still on drip and all of them (ginny, my dh, nurses) had to chip in to move me. I alternated between sitting on a birthing stool and squatting to bear down. I really gave it all my might. And it does help that I'm off the bed. Cos Ginny could make out the head of the baby and she and my dh encouraged me as I bear down. They even "breathed out" with me. What a great birth team!! Dr Lai arrived just in the nick of time. 429pm - Within two pushes, the baby is out!! And my goodness, I was so so so so relieved.. My dh caught the baby and he's all smiles!
430pm onwards - time is of no essence... we just simply enjoyed this new bundle of joy. I breastfed Rachel right away while she's still covered with blood and vernix. Her head was cone shaped due to the long wait in the birth path.. But that will go off.. I can pen down how it felt.. We both just savored this moment of sweetness as we watched this tiny little being in our arms. After we're satisfied with cradling Rachel, we handed her over the nurses for all the checks and Apgar score test. Gynae took a while to stitch me up as i had 2nd degree tears.. but he reassured that they'll heal in a week's time.. natural tears are easy to heal. :)
7pm - i was finally cleaned up and sent to the post natal ward. Dinner is served and I'm just overjoyed! DH went home to pick our parents.
That's my birth story...

Praise the Lord for He is good! (21 November 2006)

i was almost getting impatient from the waiting and frequent questioning from friends and families about when my baby's arriving...
it got to a point where i'm thinking if i should ask for induction.. could this be a better way out? so that i could appease everyone.
then it daunted upon me "who am i serving?" Man or Christ?

i recalled reading Ecclesiastes about Everything Has Its Time. I picked up the Holy Bible and read it once again.
To my amazement, aftering reading just the first line, the scales fell off my eyes.. I decide to submit the entire pregnancy to the Lord (once again). I know that He has it all planned and baby will arrive at a right time.

After going for my 41st wk gynae chkup today, I caught a glimpse of the goodness of Him.
There used to be a loose ring of cord round Rachel's neck and today when the doc did the ultrasound scan. It seemed to have disappeared. To me, this has gotta be the work of the Lord. Although it was not really much of an issue (as the doc assured me that 15% of the babies experienced this loose ring of cord round their necks) but I believe that Christ always put out fear in our hearts, no matter how tiny it may seemed. I really thank the Lord for what He has done for me and I look to Him once again.

Be still and know that I am Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.

... (19 November 2006)

went for my gynae chkup yesterday...
my doc smiled and said " u're still around.."
i'm overdue by 4days now..

doc did a VE and i'm 1.5cm dilated. my cervix has also thinned out and he proceeded to strip my membranes off the cervix which is supposed to help produce prostangladin to ripen the cervix further and bring on labor.
it wasnt as bad as i thought.. the VE and stuff..
i was commended to have a good threshold of pain hah!

bb's in an anterior position, head engaged, sufficient amniotic fluid.. all looking good for labor anyitme..

did a CTG scan after the review.
first scan showed little or no fetal activity which "scared" the hell of my doc..
he told me that he will need to do a second scan and if the results are similar, he'll need to admit me straightaway.
that serious??
anyway, i think my bb's just sleeping.. nothing to be worried about.
Regina (one of the assistants) handed me some nice dark chocolates and apple juice which i readily ate.
and i also talked to bb, telling her to "let's give them some real action!"

at the start of the second scan, i could literally see my tummy preparing for a "rock concert".
my dh saw it and was pretty amused. hha..
didnt know that she could move so much..

it really turned out that she's was only taking a nap earlier.. (when the first scan was done)
that's my darling gal!

yummie! (17 November 2006)

just had a delicious chicken nasi bryani lunch! hm.. sure feels satisfied.
i wonder if baby can taste the food that i consume. :)

one year on...
spent my first year wedding anni last nite with my dh.
went to jerry's grill for a meal.. didnt wanna go too far away from home in case rachel decides to say "hello daddie n mummie"..
took a drive to one of our fav haunts during our courtship days when we were both young and hopelessly in love with each other.. hah!
cheers to many happy anniversaries darling!

false alarm (15 November 2006)

i thot i was gonna "pop" last nite... but it turned out to be a false alarm.

was having several BH and they were more intense.. it got to a point where i could not stand straight as i made my way to the loo..

but it turned out to be just me wanting to "shit"! CHEY.........

well, let's see when bb wanna come out..

more n more sms are streaming in asking if i've delivered.. i think my friends are getting anxious.. haha..

i tell my bb that she can come out anytime now..

oh well, let's just wait and see if i pop tonight!

my previous blogs

these are my previous entries on other blogsites.. although very few but very significant to me.. i aim to organise them here so that it will be an easier read for my children or grandchildren.. :P

my first entry

it has taken me almost 4 years to post my first entry since i had the thought of blogging.. talking about being a procrastinator, i'm sure i fit the bill.

i wanted to blog about my life encounters since i was away from my family for a while.. then i wanted to blog about my first child's growing up details, but somehow i didnt get to it.. then along came my second baby which makes blogging even more challenging.. however the thought of writing a journal is still ringing in my mind. i hope that one day my children or even grandchildren will get to read my blog. :)

i find writing to be therapeutic, it allows me to express my thoughts and my feelings in words, "recollectively" (i wonder if there's such a word) rather than in speech. i find writing to be pretty liberating too. there's no specific audience that i am writing to, no expectations of any response from anyone, it's like talking to God.

well, so here's my first entry.. it's late but better than never getting to it...