Ah MA

I thought about my Ah Ma (my paternal grandmother) today and remembered these last few words that I had with her weeks before she passed on.

She needed help to go to the toilet during the terminal stages of her lung cancer and I assisted her.
She was rather awkward initially and said these to me in hokkien, "When you were young, Ah Ma took care of you, now you have to help Ah Ma..." literally with tears welling up in her eyes.

I can't help but felt alittle emotional as I recalled those moments today.

It was sometime in October 1994 that she was diagnosed with lung cancer and she came over to stay with us. But it was only for a few days before she was re-admitted to hospital and shortly after, she passed on in November 1994. It has been almost 16 years since she had died.

My Ah Ma took care of me when I was only a few months old baby until I reached 7 years old. She lived in a village along Lorong Buangkok. I can still recall the village address. 134D Lorong Buangkok S1953. It was a village located along the stretch of roads of the present day Yio Chu Kang/ Gerald Drive area. Two houses situated at the start of the former Lorong Buangkok are still visible today.

I remembered that Ah Ma always cooked two half boiled eggs for me for breakfast before I left for school for my Kindergarten lessons.
She would buy Char Siew Rice for me on saturday mornings from the food delivery man named Ah Yer. (water in malay)
I would go to the wet market with her on Sundays. She frequented the one located along Upper Serangoon Road. That market used to be called the "Gor Ko Jio" market (5th Avenue).
Sometimes she would buy little ducklings for me.
Most times, she would buy "nine-layered kueh" and "tao suan" for me as they were my favourite breakfast treats.

During the durian season, she would listen out for the sound of durians dropping on the ground (there was a big durian tree in front of her front yard) and she would keep the better quality durians specially for me well hidden underneath a cane basket. She would bring them out for me to eat whenever I visited her on Sundays. (This was when I started attending Primary 1 in a school in Toa Payoh and I didn't live with her in the village).
She doted on me alot.

I would help her roll the paper cigarettes (hun kee in hokkien) and she would take a smoke after doing her chores.
I also enjoyed helping her collect eggs from the hens' nest in the afternoons. The eggs still felt warm in my palms.
She would bring me to the puppet show during festive periods when they put on a show for the gods. She would buy a packet of ice glass jelly drink for me.
In the afternoons when we were watching the 3pm chinese dramas, the ice cream man would make his rounds. She would give me 50cents so that I can run down the road to buy an ice cream sandwich.

These were fond memories that I have of my beloved Ah Ma.

I missed you Ah Ma. I hope that one day, I get to be a loving Ah Ma to my children's offsprings and I can tell them stories about you.

my first entry

it has taken me almost 4 years to post my first entry since i had the thought of blogging.. talking about being a procrastinator, i'm sure i fit the bill.

i wanted to blog about my life encounters since i was away from my family for a while.. then i wanted to blog about my first child's growing up details, but somehow i didnt get to it.. then along came my second baby which makes blogging even more challenging.. however the thought of writing a journal is still ringing in my mind. i hope that one day my children or even grandchildren will get to read my blog. :)

i find writing to be therapeutic, it allows me to express my thoughts and my feelings in words, "recollectively" (i wonder if there's such a word) rather than in speech. i find writing to be pretty liberating too. there's no specific audience that i am writing to, no expectations of any response from anyone, it's like talking to God.

well, so here's my first entry.. it's late but better than never getting to it...